Tomorrow I will be celebrating my birthday with a
swimming party , yay ,it’s gonna be awesome!!
A little while later somebody came running to me and said “can you do me a favour”. I yelled back at him “NO!!” for some reason he just got this sick looking thing and waved it around and murmured something that i couldn’t quite hear. I then started running as fast as i could then flames started appearing all around me. But then i saw a light a white light at the end of the hallway. Luckily, i got away safely to have my epic pool party
Hi Blake, I like that you've written this in first person, it helps me to understand how the main character (you) is feeling. You do have a bit of punctuation missing - capital letter and question mark for your first bit of speech; capital I when writing about yourself and a full stop at the end. I enjoyed the randomness of this story and the fact that the ending links well to the start. I am intrigued to know what the sick looking thing was that the stranger started waving around! Keep up the writing, I hope to read more.
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