Me and Rishatain de Rani, my best friend, were lying on his bed wondering what it would be like to have a turtle. We had figured out that we had enough money to buy it and feed it. We knew what day we could take him to the vet. And our parents would never know. So after school we made a quick stop at the pet shop then brought our new turtle back to my house because my parents were at work. Then it pooped. So we took it out of his cage, but where would we hide it all?
Hello Natalie,
ReplyDeleteI had a good chuckle when I finished your story. I can only image some of the ideas the characters had. One of the details you did well was connected the passage of time for your readers. In this story you used the phrase "So after school..." to help us understand the sequence of events.
Just a little reminder that the beginning of your story should be "Rishatain de Rani and I". If you have trouble remembering whether to use "me" or "I", try omitting the other person from the sentence and see what makes sense.
Keep up your writing!
Tracey Ananmalay
Team 100WC
San José, California USA