Alisa was sitting on her bed picking her nose. Suddenly a green piece of gooey slime shot out of her nose, ”AHHH!!”said alisa, she ran downstairs to her mum”MUM!” My snot shot out of my nose!”
“Are you sure?”
“YES!” the slime was bouncing down the stairs”AHHH MUM LOOK!”
The mysterious slime came closer. Shockingly the slime jumped on Alisa’s mum “AHHH HELP!”said Alisa’s mum, Alisa ran to the phone. quickly she dialed 111 and the ambulance the police and the firefighters came to Alisa’s house but they were too late the slime dripped through her mums face The End.
I am pleased to see some great things here Emily. You have appropriately used exclamation marks and question marks, you have remembered to use the new speaker, new line rule and have some interesting language. Well done. I still think you need to carefully recheck for small punctuation errors such as capital letters and full stops in the right place.
ReplyDelete