One day a boy named jake was getting ready for school then he started walking to school and he saw his friend bob running towards me. Bob stopped and puffed "remember that since project?" "yes" replied jake “well…. The thing we made….. Turned into…… a……...slime……..MONSTER!!!”
Bang! “No, bob don’t give up on me Bob. Oh no he’s gone.” “ok i’m going to school alright and i am going to check it out. So he got to school and he saw nothing and suddenly the slime monster grabbed jake and the slime dripped through jake’s head and jake was never to be again.
I like the idea of your story Logan, with the science project going wrong. I also like the detail of how Bob 'stopped and puffed', exactly as he would do after running. There are a couple of things I would like you to think about. The first is about being consistent about whose viewpoint you are writing from. In several of your sentences you write about Jake, but you also use 'me'. The second is to remember that as a proper noun, Jake needs a capital letter.
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