Saturday, May 6, 2017
The Slime Alligator by Caitlin
The smelly green slime dripped through the cracks in the wall and slime slowly oozed along the pipe. A single person peeped letting in a ray of light . Up came the alligators and away ran the man down the street and into his house. The children didn’t know that he'd seen an alligator . They just said “hi daddy how was work? ”Dad said “good” and put away his coat and went to the kitchen to see his wife. Astra said “Eliot why have you got so much slime on you?” as she put away a plate.“Well go and clean yourself!”.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
We discussed this Caitlin. You have a strong start and are using language in a clever and considered way. The slime alligators were an original idea, but I think you didn't develop the idea enough. The majority of your story is about Dad going home, rather than the interesting slime and alligators. Great control of punctuation.
ReplyDelete