Saturday, May 6, 2017

The Slime by Eva S

One day at school I was in my classroom waiting for the roll to be called, Then I noticed a Owl falling to the ground. So I rushed outside and caught it just in time. The poor owl looked at me, then suddenly slime was dripping down to the ground I ran with the owl in my hands but it was too late, the slime cornered me at the school gates. I tried desperately to open them’ but the wouldn't open. Without a choes I threw the owl over the gate. The slime jumped then...

To be continued da da da daaa

2 comments:

  1. Now that is one way to get around the 100 word limit. It is OK to have a story that will continue, like a chapter in a book, but stopping mid sentence is too much of a cliffhanger I think.
    As usual, I can see you making good language choices. I like the phrase, 'the slime cornered me at the school gates' and use of the word 'desperately'. I think a final read aloud next time will help you spot little errors that could be fixed before publishing.

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  2. Well done on your story this week. You've used some nice vocabulary (desperately, cornered). I agree with the comment above that you nneed to read over your story to check for spelling mistakes.
    I like how you have used the prompt.
    Keep up the good work.
    Ms Brennock
    Team 100 w/c
    Dublin

    ReplyDelete

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