Friday, June 8, 2018
The Huge Daffodil by Sam
One day as I walked over my beautiful bridge I fell off and landed on a huge daffodil. As I picked myself of the ground I realised that there was a pink massive door. I opened the massive door and to my surprise inside there was a golden crown covered in diamonds. I put the crown on and realised that the daffodil I was standing in had made a shelter from the rain that was sprinkled down. I walked out of the daffodil. As I walked home I patted my cat it licked my hand and started purring loudly.
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Great first attempt at the 100 Word Challenge Sam.
ReplyDeleteGood to see you have chosen adjectives carefully: massive, beautiful, golden and you are starting to experiment with adverbs.
Next time, try to vary the start of your sentences. Here most start with I or As I.
Cool story Sam. It is full of fantasy which is a favourite genre of mine so that might make me a little biased but job well done!
ReplyDeleteI like the descriptive language in your short story! My favourite sentence is: " I opened the massive door and to my surprise inside there was a golden crown covered in diamonds." It reads just like a published book.
ReplyDeleteHi Sam, I really liked the phrase, "as I picked myself up". It reminded me of something my mum would say to me :)
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